The internet is lighting up thanks to a report that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will star in a movie adaptation of the Call of Duty video game series. There has been absolutely no confirmation of said report and chances are it’s not true. That said, the possibility of it becoming a reality does have us wondering how good a fit the former WWE Champion (and the world’s biggest movie star, literally and figuratively) would be for the project.
Whether you realize it or not, Johnson’s entire career has been leading to this moment. There is, perhaps, nobody better suited to star in a Call of Duty movie. And don’t worry, we’ve got the receipts to prove it.
First, let’s start with the fact that there is no bonafide action hero bigger than The Rock. He survived Jumanji twice, was in a bunch of Fast and Furious movies, he’s a DC Comics antihero in the upcoming Black Adam, and, most importantly, he was in Jungle Cruise, which was a big and ridiculous movie based on an equally big and ridiculous theme park ride.
Beyond just his action genre street cred, though, Johnson’s already starred in movies that, when combined, more or less turn into Call of Duty. I’m referring, of course, to the cinematic gems known as Doom and GI Joe: Retaliation. Video game adaptation? Check. Utterly ludicrous military-esque film? Check. Throw those two in a blender and you have a recipe for a type of greatness that will no doubt be so bad that it’ll be considered art. What’s more, with some of the over-the-top guns that come with a property like GI Joe (not to mention Doom’s BFG), Johnson is clearly ready to take on all the potential weapons Call of Duty can throw at him.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, there’s trash talk. While talking trash may not be part of a Call of Duty storyline, what is this franchise without teenagers slinging insults at each other during multiplayer matches? While sure, there won’t be voiceovers from players insulting each other’s mothers throughout the film, it would feel wrong if there weren’t some smack talk. And who better to verbally thrash their opponents than the People’s Champion?
Johnson made a name for himself in WWE based on his ability to cut his opponents down with words. He then used that to shift into movies, wisecracking his way through enemies. (Well, not in the movies released during that strange Disney family comedy period of his career, but in the rest of them.) Give him a rifle and a squad of fellow soldiers–one of which, I can only assume, is Kevin Hart–and you’ve got the makings for a true Call of Duty cinematic adventure.
Until that happens, though, just grab your Doom and GI Joe: Retaliation Blu-rays (we all own these films) and play them side-by-side on two separate TVs. It’s practically the same thing, anyway.
