Halo Soap Review — Is This What Master Chief Smells Like?

Microsoft is promoting the upcoming release of Halo Infinite in traditional and non-traditional ways alike. On the more unexpected side, Microsoft has partnered with soap company Dr. Squatch to create a new line of soap called Spartan Scrub. The makers of the soap sent me a block, and I am pleased to report it is a very good soap.

Dr. Squatch says the soap will leave you feeling “energized, focused, and ready to take on any challenge in gaming or in life.” That is a lofty goal for a block of soap, or anything else for that matter. I take my showers in the morning most days, and I certainly felt clean and refreshed afterwards using the Spartan Scrub, but the existential question of whether or not the soap helped me “take on any challenge” is not something I can say is true, or not.

Any soap worth its minerals should get you clean and prepared for the start of your day, and the Spartan Scrub succeeds in that respect. I didn’t feel any more energized or focused than normal using the Spartan Scrub, however. I turn to coffee and food for energy, more than anything, but the Spartan Scrub is definitely soap that cleans your body. It’s described as a “manly” soap for men, for whatever that is worth.

The Spartan Scrub soap features what the company says is a “blend of herbs” rooted in Halo lore to help “soothe battle-worn skin.” The soap has ingredients that are drawn from the Halo universe, including Sevenbark Root, Little John, and Bishop’s Wort. As for what it smells like, the company promises a smell profile featuring notes of silver sage, yuzu, and cedarwood. I don’t know what any of those things are.

But I can say the smell of the soap hits the nose with a smooth and refreshing aroma. By no means am I a soap expert, but I have used multiple different types of soap over the years, and some have definitely left much to be desired in the smell department. The Spartan Scrub offers a pleasant smell that is understated and subtle instead of harsh and in your face.

In terms of its design, the block of soap itself is modeled after Master Chief’s Mjolnir green armor and his orange helmet visor–and it’s definitely true to that description in the wild. You can get a closer look at the scrub in the image gallery below.

Outside of my regular bathing schedule, the biggest test for the Spartan Scrub came late on Thursday night. I play in an ice hockey league Thursday nights, and as anyone who plays hockey or has stepped into a local rink knows, it is a smelly sport. The sweat from the physical exertion of skating drenches into the equipment, creating a hotbed for stink. An ice hockey locker room is a foul-smelling place, and the only reason everyone is OK with it, is because everyone smells bad at the same time.

After the game, using the Spartan Scrub succeeded in cleansing my body from the sour sweat of hockey, and I felt refreshed and clean when I got out of the shower and got ready for bed. Hockey is a battle, of sorts, so the Spartan Scrub lives up to the hype of helping you feel like yourself again after war. The soap also does a good job of exfoliating your skin, which is especially important after completing a workout of any type (especially if you have naturally oily skin or are prone to sweating like I am).

Best of all, no one I encountered this past week–not family, friends, or any of the random strangers I bumped into–told me I smelled bad.

The Dr. Squatch Spartan Scrub is available now for $8. Pick up the Xbox bodywash and deodorant, and you’ll be smelling like Master Chief in no time at all.