If you’re like most other people, you’ve surely experienced the widespread “phantom vibration syndrome.” You perceive a notification buzz from your smartphone, pull it out of your pocket to check, and realize it was just your imagination. Nonetheless, one minute later, you do it again. And again.
It’s no secret that many of us are addicted to these tiny handheld computers we still call “phones,” which hold the worldwide web and a wealth of information at our fingertips—although we don’t usually take advantage of that, instead choosing to devour memes and social media from dawn till dusk.
Anna Lembke, a published author and world-renowned addiction expert, however, would argue that on the contrary, there is harm done. And that extends beyond perhaps not getting enough sleep because you stayed up watching YouTube videos on your phone until 2am, or getting stressed out because you forgot your charger at home with a long day ahead of you.
That instantaneous burst of euphoria you get when you swipe down to see your favorite celebrity’s newest post, or when you see that your latest selfie is getting an unusual amount of likes, is the dopamine hormone (or feel-good hormone) being released into your brain. This neurotransmitter of pleasure is released not only in the moment of gratification, however, but in the period of anticipation leading up to that moment.
This gradual anticipatory release is what drives us to seek that moment of pleasure again—and the more you appease every urge to glance at your social media, the more addicted you become, and the more dopamine will be released next time, forcing you to do it again. This can happen to anyone with anything, writes Lembke.
She speaks about working with patients such as a man over 60 years old who built a masturbation machine to satisfy his constant craving, or a teen named Delilah who couldn’t get herself up in the morning unless she was stoned on marijuana. Another patient was Chi, who spent thousands of dollars buying trinkets online just to feel the dopamine rush he got out of receiving and opening the packages.
The mental health advocate and addiction researcher urges us to begin actively putting our phones aside and forcing ourselves to delve in more “painful” pursuits which we know will bring us both benefit and pleasure in the end.
Things such as going on a jog, inviting a long-lost friend out for a coffee, or reading a good, thought-provoking book don’t bring such instant, quick-n-easy gratification. Yet the high you get in the end (dare we call it happiness?) is hard-earned, and therefore infinitely sweeter and longer-lasting.
Doing things that are hard is one of the best ways to pursue a life worth living, because the pleasure we get afterwards is more enduring.
It’s not only your own horizons you may limit if you pull the cycle of social media-induced ever tighter, instead of acting to free yourself. It also ends up affecting those in your life and around you, says Lembke.
It gets into philosophical questions: how is the time I’m spending on my phone in subtle ways affecting my ability to be a good parent, spouse or friend? I do believe there is a cost – one that I don’t think we fully recognise because it’s hard to [see it] when you’re in it.
What’s the solution, then?
Lembke’s best suggestion for opening yourself up to greater freedom and possibility for fulfillment by getting yourself out of that closed dopamine cycle is, for starters, locking up your phone in a drawer for 24 hours. To some it may sound feasible enough, to others it may sound utterly impossible.
But all of us are capable of doing it, just once, and letting go of that initial panic-inducing FOMO (fear-of-missing-out) anxiety, and learning how to cope with our thoughts on the lonesome, and look to bigger horizons than the next Twitter notification.
