Please hold for Nice Barney

This pilot fish runs the night support shift, and fairly regularly they have to call a particular DBA when they’re stumped. He is just that good you could be sure he’d have the answer.

But when he answered the phone, he would cuss and yell, smear the caller with every name in the book, and then hang up. Within five minutes, he would call back on the manager hotline and say, “This is Barney. I am awake now. How can I help you?” Friendly as that dinosaur of the same name.

According to Barney’s wife, he was just the same when she woke him suddenly — nastier than a hungry T-rex.

Wishing to bypass the ugly Barney and get to the helpful, friendly one right away, they get him a pager, which he puts next to his pillow. When it buzzes, he can vent his five minutes of bile with no one to hear it. Then he calls in and fixes whatever the problem is.